And what do you do about it?

This was the discussion I just had in my Mass Media class. It really made me think. So many times people care about all these different issues, but we do nothing about it. Why? I say “we” because I’m the same way.

There are several women outside on campus passing out booklets on factory farming. Most people either pass them by or look at the flyer and go EW and toss it out. Occupy New Haven is STILL out there on the green when most people have blown over the issue already. Invisible Children (whether their intentions were good or not) made that video. These people are all doing something for causes that matter to them. Props to them, seriously!

This class discussion really made me think. I mean, I’m a caring person and I always want to support certain things; like women’s rights, LGBT rights, world hunger—basically human equality. I’m more compelled to see how can I do something about it.  This media studies major is becoming more and more valuable to me as the semester goes on.

Physically? yeah sure. Emotionally? I cannot articulate.

All night people asked me if i was OK, “you seem down,” “how come I don’t see you anymore” etc etc and I said I was just tired. I mean I was pretty tired but also other things.

When I get rejected or left out or forgotten my hermit tendencies kick in hard. I’m already an introvert; all I need is one little tap and I fall back into my own little world where no one else matters because no one else is there. I carry on about my life, I don’t contact people unless they contact me—people tend not to so I go about my activities on my lonesome. I guess I’m alright with that. I started to get used to being with people all the time but for lack of a better explanation things fell through this semester and I’m far more familiar with being alone so I revert back to that.

Seeing everyone again tonight just brought up awkward feelings. All these questions just made me even more uncomfortable because there wasn’t exactly a way to say how I felt; there still isn’t. Relationships are two ways, and I suck at initiating any sort of conversation so…….. So the whole thing is just meh. Fiancé sort of nudged me into going because he knows I haven’t seen my friends in a while; otherwise i might have skipped out again. 

Obviously my fiancé is the exception to all of this. I suppose having him makes it easier to not worry about other relationships because I know no matter what I’ll still have him. 

kieradoe:

time to chill out with it before i start going overboard, bahaha!

celebrating with @averenee, more kingdom-hearts and nutella for working at the #1 pharmacy in the CVS chain tomorrow!

YOU GO, GLEN COCO!

that’s right. NUMBER ONE. OUT OF ALL SEVEN THOUSAND CVS’s

I was supposed to go to carnegie hall today. last minute found out there wasn’t a ticket for me. He went on without me and i’m pretty sure we’re not on speaking terms right now anyways. so i went shopping. retail therapy helped a bit and i got some things i really like.

i still feel pretty neglected.

But not by this situation alone—for a few different things. I don’t mean to isolate myself, it’s just the sort of thing that seems to happen alot. I’m not very popular.

So I escaped into my media via harvest moon for a few hours, watching a documentary with pops, and watching prison break aka drooling over wentworth miller and pretending I don’t feel as crappy as I do.

My stomach wouldn’t have enough room for that.

Skipping jewelry today was a good decision. I actually think it did more good than harm because this is just what I needed to get me over a creative block in that class. I would’ve just been cranky and frustrated if I had gone.

Now I can’t wait for my ceramics class. I’m making this badass coil pot and it will be awesome.

And I will be able to play video games today with kieradoe.

Not to mention this free venti mocha light frap is pretty rad.

I finally found a website to do yoga through that I actually like! My schedule never lines up with a studio, which are twice as much as this is anyways. It’s better than the youtube things or the yoga journal thing or anything else on the interwebs that I’ve found. I’m just so excited to be doing yoga again ^_^.

Probably because every time I try to invite a group of people to do anything it never works out or no one shows up or I forget some one or I think so and so probably wont want to or idk. I just want people to play just dance with and dork out over some video games.

Since being engaged, old emotions and friendships are creeping out from the cobwebs. You know how sometimes you and your best friends just drift apart? Some of the ones from high school did. We drifted. I tried pulling it back together but nah, didn’t work.

So after a good solid year(+) of literally no contact and ditching my 21st birthday party thing, you want to take me to Kleinfeld’s? And help me plan my wedding? I don’t know how I feel about that. I just don’t. Part of me is like “I love them, old buddies, cool!” and the other, more resounding part of me is like “You disappear from all aspects of my life and pop up a year later when there’s a wedding. Are you really happy for me?”

It breaks my heart to have to be the bad guy but I don’t think they deserve to experience the joys of planning my wedding. They’d have to show me. Comment on my wall, send me a text, a phone call, a casual trip to the mall, anything. Something to show me that you care enough to be a friend; not treating me like I’m just the friend who’s getting married.

I try not to let things get to me or be too sensitive because friends in my life are scarce. And who want’s to spend all that energy on being negative? No matter how much my friends may let me down, I know I’m marrying my best friend; and I couldn’t ask for anything better.